Short story, please

Being a male, I'm not much of a talker.  Sure, I'll give you my opinion on anything, but I typically use as few words as I can get away with and if I don't have to talk, that's even better.  It's the same way when I ask a question.  A simple yes or no will suffice, I don't need the long story.  Whoever came up with K.I.S.S. was right on the money, keep it simple, stupid.

I get the long story at home a lot.  One of Hayden's grandmas is quite the talker.  Often I have to butt in and say, "Grandma, just give us the short story."  From time to time, that long story gene makes an appearance with Jennifer.  I ask a question that requires a one word answer and after a few minutes I stop listening.  Same thing with Hayden, everything with him is a freaking negotiation.  It gets to the point where I just stop listening to him as well.

I bring this up because I got it at the office the other day.  The people that process our payroll sent me a file with a list of employees who hadn't received a check in a while and they wanted to know if those employees could be terminated in their system.  I tried to open the file, got an error message and was told I couldn't access the file.

Subsequently, I sent a message back to the payroll girl explaining the message I'd received and asked if she could send me the file again.  I expected an e-mail with an attachment and maybe a three word-sentence saying something like 'here you go.'

Instead I got a dissertation on how she didn't understand what the problem was, that she'd opened the file and had no trouble with it, blah, blah, blah...I stopped reading.  I was prepared to fire back a nice, professional two-word reply; no not those two words, but two I use at home ALL.  THE.  TIME.  "Don't care."

In thinking about it a bit more, it occurred to me that I get shit at the office all the time.  Someone asks me something, I give a short, direct, wonderful answer; and then I'm given all the reasons why we can't do what I propose.  The whole time they're talking (generally speaking, after you've reached the allotted number of words I think an answer should take, I quit listening), I've already stopped listening, wondering why in the hell they bothered me in the first place if they weren't going to like my answer and have started back on what I was working on.  Then when they finish, if I'm still awake, I look up and say, politely, "I'm sorry, are you still in my office?"

In the future, I'd like for all to remember that my capacity for listening is several hampered by my y-chromosome and in the best interests of everyone, you should just give me the short story.