I'm annoyed by many of life's little pleasures, but one of the things that pisses me off the most is when I'm trying to make a point, but the person my point is directed at doesn't get it. Most of the time when I'm trying to make a point, it involves me behind the steering wheel. I fully admit to having road rage.
A couple weeks ago, I was driving home, in the slow lane, minding my own business as I passed a few cars hogging the fast lane. I wasn't driving like an idiot, doing maybe 53 in a 45. For the most part, I do a good job of frequently checking both my side mirrors and my rear view mirror to see if anyone is trying to kill me. I must have been having an off moment on this occasion, because I took a peak in the rear view mirror and saw some guy riding my ass pretty good.
This doesn't bother me. I've got a master's degree in the Gran Turismo series on PlayStation. Over the last ten years, I've logged hundreds of thousands of miles racing against both the computer-controlled cars, as well as my friends online. While there is no likelihood of death in an online race with my friends, you still get used to guys riding your ass, swerving in front of you, and doing the same to them.
So, as I'm driving home, I see this guy riding my tail and I sped up a bit to get by the rest of the cars in the fast lane so the guy behind me, obviously in a hurry, could get to where he's going. Yeah, that's just the kind of guy I am, always trying help a brother out. The guy passed me and I figured since he was speeding, I'd just tag along so as soon as he got by me, I pulled right behind him. I wasn't tailgating (tailgating doesn't happen til you can't see the license plate of the car in front of you) and I wasn't trying to prove a point, I was merely doing my part to keep the environment clean by burning less gas...I was drafting to save fuel.
Apparently, this guy didn't mind tailgating, but he did mind being tailgated. The second I got behind him, he hit the brakes. It's a puss move, even in online racing with my friends it's frowned upon (called 'brake checking'). I expected more from the guy.
Ok, fast forward to the other day. I'm in the turn lane trying to turn left and I'm second in line. The left arrow turns green and the guy in front of me pulls out and turns left. I follow to do the same, but some dumb whore in an SUV is coming at me in the opposite direction, turning right. I've got the green arrow, and she never even slowed down, pulling right out in front of me.
"Hmmm," I thought to myself, "time to prove a point." I got on this lady's ass and never left it. It was some of my most impressive tailgating, even to the point that I'm not sure I didn't hit her a couple times. But this lady was tough, she never sped up, never slowed down, never gave me the finger, nothing.
I was amazed at her composure. At the next light, I pulled up beside her in the other lane and realized why she never flinched. She was talking on her cell phone and probably never noticed me, either when she pulled out in front of me or when I was ass-raping her down the street. I think that pissed me off even more.
Just this past weekend, we made a family gathering to the pet store. As we left PetSmart and drove past Wally World, some old shitbag driving a honey of an old Buick pulled right out in front of me, never even slowing as he left the Wally World parking lot. I looked behind me and there was no one, meaning all this ass hat had to do was wait another 3 seconds and I'd have been by, but I guess he had places to be and people to see.
I don't use the horn in the car much, but I felt I should test it to see if it still worked. The horn worked, worked fine, and worked til my wife started yelling at me. Then, the ass hat in the old beater Buick gave me the bird.
Yeah, this fuckball pulled right out in front of me, my wife, 9-year old and 8 brand new fish, and I'm the one who gets flipped off.
I was fully prepared to show Hayden how to handle such an instance, but Jennifer kept yelling at me. I tried to show Hayden how to tailgate, and I got yelled at. I tried to keep up foreign relations (Top Gun plug), using both fingers, and I got yelled at. For the most part, I got yelled at the whole way home, and I'm the one who did nothing wrong.
Sometimes it just doesn't pay to try to prove a point.
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