My visit to the doctor went fairly well. He rarely remembers why or what we talked about last time so it's actually been a while since he's tried to get in my pants and today was no different.
He walked in and immediately started asking if I still drank weird beer. I replied in the affirmative and he told me a story about him telling some friends of his a story about me and my beer issues. From there he asked if I was still taking the drugs he put me on a few years ago and how my wrists were doing.
As the appointment was coming to a close, he asked if there was anything else. Normally, if we'd gotten this far and I still had my pants on, I'd have flown out of the room, but I was feeling good about this visit, so I stayed. I asked him if he could put me on happy pills or if I needed to see a shrink.
He said that was something he could handle, but wanted to know my symptoms. I gave him the run down and then asked him if there were any happy pills that didn't include side effects such as insomnia, weight gain, or my wiener not working. He laughed and said EVERY medicine has side effects.
He said the drugs nowadays really work well, but there are things to take into consideration. He mentioned I'd probably be sick to my stomach for the first few days, but it would eventually go away. He told me I'd probably feel tired early on, so take the drugs at night before bed. And he said some of the happy pills are prescribed for guys who are three pump chumps to help with their premature issues. He said my wiener would still work, it would just take longer to finish the transaction. After thinking about it for about, um, a second, I said, "Sick to my stomach so I'll lose weight, it'll help me fall asleep, and I'll be the Energizer Bunny? Sounds like a win-win to me." He laughed and said, "Yeah, you'll really be able to lay some pipe."
That's not exactly what he said, but that's what he meant. He stressed it would take up to a month before I stopped wanting to hurt people and asked that I schedule another appointment with him in about 30 days to see if I was still wanting to beat people, though I suspect he just wants to hear my stories about being a stallion.
Since tonight starts my weekly tradition of drinking really, really good beer, I'm going to start the happy pills on Monday. Hopefully the upset stomach will last til Friday morning and I can drink my good beer all over again Friday evening.
I already don't care about most things, but I'd like to think the happy pills will make me not care about anything.
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