Epic beer run

Yesterday was my beer run to Louisville.  A beer that's never been released outside Belgium made it's way to the States because the monks that brew the stuff wanted to expand their monastery.  Previously, the only place to get the beer was the visit the monastery in Belgium.  Or, you you begged someone who had visited the monastery to sell you the beer.  The monks who brew it brew just enough for them to drink and enough to cover the expenses of the monastery.  They don't distribute it anywhere, you can't find it in beer stores, in order to get it, you literally visit the monastery, call on the 'beer phone' and make a reservation to pick up the beer.  They make three kinds, you never know when they're making what, and you're only allowed one case per car...they take your phone number and license plate number.

I was lucky enough to get a hold of two bottles of all three beers last year when a guy from Belgium sold me the package through eBay.  You might remember I posted some pictures of it when the box arrived.

Anyway, for the first and likely only time ever, gift packs have been sent out to raise funds for an additional wing at the monastery.  They were supposed to show up in April and when I heard about it, I contacted a lady that owned a beer place in Louisville.  I'd made some substantial purchases with her in the past and at the time, I asked if she'd hold a couple gift packs for me.  She said 'no problem.'  That was then but things changed.  When I talked with her last week, she said there was no way she could hold any as it was to be sold on a first come, first served basis.  So, I planned a beer run.

In addition to the monk beer, I ordered a whole bunch of seasonal Christmas/Winter beers that I can't get around home.  The beer lady told me she'd have Ricky pull whatever they had and put it in boxes for me behind the bar.  My beer run was set.

The store was to open yesterday at noon...appropriate, 12/12/12 and it opened at 12.  That was Eastern time, an hour ahead of me.  I left my house just after 8 AM so I could be there at 11 local time in case there was a line.

To leave at 8, I had to be up a bit earlier and I'm not used to that, so I was tired on the drive over.  At some point, I had to take a leak and was trying to stay awake, so I pulled into a Shell station to drain the dragon and pick up some bubble gum.

Above is the gum money I took with me into the Shell station.  I took this picture at home after I got back in town.  The reason...the fucking place didn't have any bubble gum.  What the hell kind of gas station/food mart doesn't have bubble gum?  They had chewing gum, but no bubble gum.  WTF?  I was pissed so I left without making a purchase, though I was very tempted to grab three quarters and go back into the pisser so I could buy a glow in the dark condom.

Back on my way to Louisville. I arrived at the beer store to be met with a line.  I was fearful of such a thing, but was happy I'd arrived early...and pleased that I brought a hat, gloves and a long coat because it was 29 degrees out.

I was roughly 20th or so in line.  Here are the lucky souls in front of me.

This was at roughly 11 AM local time, meaning we still had an hour to kill in the freezing weather.  Though I'm not a people person, I struck up some conversation with some of the other fools in line in hopes to stay warm and not think about the cold.  Several people passed the long line and asked what we were waiting for, dumbfounded to hear it was for beer.

With about 30 minutes to go, the news crew showed up.  Some dude and some chick were doing a story on the release of the beer.  As soon as the camera went on, several people ducked out of the way because they were 'sick' and couldn't make it to work.

The dude in the red jacket is the camera guy and the chick in the black staring at the street is the chick who does the talking.  They too were amazed we were dumb enough to stand in line to get beer.

Just a few minutes before the store opened, one of the owners walked up front with a roll of tickets.  He said we could get one or two tickets and once they were gone, they were gone, and anyone without a ticket was shit out of luck.

Rumor has it they had 80 tickets, one for each gift pack available and since I was about 20th in line, I was golden.  You can see my two tickets below.

Just a couple minutes later, they opened the doors to the front of the store, but had the people with tickets to move to the side of the building, eventually working our way to the back where the gift packs were being sold.

This was an amazing relief because for the last hour or so, we'd been stuck in the shadows of the buildings and now, on the side, as you can see above, we had sunlight.  It felt...so...good.  The picture above shows the people behind me and you can see, we're in the sun now.

At the back of the store, there was a line for cash and another for credit.  I'd bought both and went into the cash line.  I started handing the guy twenties til I was almost out before he said, "Tyler, this guy just paid for two."  Tyler, one of the co-owners, handed me my gift packs.  I made my way inside the store and walked from the back to the front and toward my car so I could keep my prize safe while I did more shopping.

Here (above) is a picture of my trunk, with two gift packs of Westvleteren 12, generally rated as the best beer in the world by most beer forums and books.  I've had it before and it's not the best beer in the world, but it's right up there.

After double checking the trunk was shut and the car was locked, I walked back into the beer store and asked the guy at the bar if he had any boxes of beer up front for some idiot from Indiana.  He said, "Are you Rick?"  I smiled and he started pulling the bottles from the boxes and putting them on the bar.

Below is Ricky ringing up my order.  Not everything on the bar was for me, just most of it.

The poor bastard spent a good 20 minutes trying to match up the bottles on the bar to what the computer said.  It didn't help that I kept finding stuff to add to my order.  Eventually, everything matched, I mortgaged my first born, and was on my way.

Before heading home, I had to make a couple more stops.  The first was to some place called Sergio's that the people in line told me was a shithole of a beer store, but it had good stuff.  I told the phone wench that lives inside my phone to 'give me directions to Sergio's in Louisville, Kentucky.'  She gave me step by step directions til she announced I'd arrived at my destination.  I saw some shithole of a place, but it wasn't in a part of town where I felt comfortable A) parking my car and/or B) getting out of my car so I got the hell out of there.

Still, though, I wasn't done.  I wanted to visit Liquor Barn and see what kind of trouble I could get into there.  The map lady who lives inside my car helped me with directions there and I arrived in no time to a place I wasn't scared of.  I spent another hour looking for beer and when I'd finished, this is what my trunk looked like.

Another box wouldn't fit and I had to call it a day, so I started to head home.  I told the map lady who lives in my car to take me home and she set a path.  However, as luck would have it, on the way home I received an e-mail that said three of the Liquor Lockers in Evansville had just received a supply of Stone 12.12.12 Vertical Epic Ale.  (Each year, Stone--a brewery-- releases a Belgian-inspired ale on the day when the month, day and year are the same...first one came out on 2/2/2002, second was 3/3/2003 and so on...so this is the last one in the series.).  What a great way to end an epic beer run than by buying a beer with Epic in its name.

When all was said and done, and I'd emptied the boxes from my trunk and taken out the bottles I'd picked up for a friend of mine who wasn't able to make the trip, this is what I could call mine (below).

I did come up with something genius on the way home, though, in an effort to minimize the ridiculous cost of this trip.  In thinking about my monk beer, it occurred to me that the monastery is a non-profit organization. Therefore, I'm writing off the cost of the beer as a contribution, as well as the gas to get to Louisville and back.

All in all, it was a helluva day.  Wish you could have been there to enjoy it with me.