Any questions?

Does anyone not remember this commercial from back in the day?  It was a PSA about drugs being bad for you.  I think they need to start airing it again.

I'm not sure at what age kids start drinking or doing drugs these days but it's obviously in the 3rd grade or earlier.  I'm sure my lawyer cousin will provide a statistic saying otherwise, but I've got proof that kids start hitting the hard stuff far earlier than we believe.

Yesterday afternoon, Hayden and I were working on some homework he had as he learned about Veteran's Day.  He had a worksheet where he had to fill out certain words that were missing--words like Armistice, Vietnam, Soldier--and since most 3rd graders aren't familiar with those words, there was a blank dash for each letter and under dash was the letter that came after the intended letter.  For example, in Armistice, the first letter was B.  So all you had to do was write down the letter that precedes the letter you were given.  To make it even easier, Hayden's got a list of all the letters printed and written in cursive taped to the wall in the kitchen, where we do most of the homework.

I read him the directions and asked him which letter came before the letter "B."  He replied, "9?"

I first thought he was being funny.  He's got a good sense of humor and makes me laugh every day. However, he didn't appear to be joking.  I asked again.  Again, he replied, "9."

He still had that "I'm not joking" looking on his face, so I said, in a bit of a different, darker tone, "Hayden, which letter in the alphabet comes before the letter B?"  Just as calmly as he could, he said, "3?"

My second thought was that I was being Punk'd.  I looked around for Ashton Kutcher, but it was only Hayden and me, and the animals around.  "Hayden, are you shitting me?  What letter in the alphabet comes before the letter B?  And don't tell me a fucking number."

It really would make sense if he's been drinking.  I've got two rooms full of empty beer bottles and full beer bottles in three different refrigerators and more in the pantry.  But I keep a pretty good eye on what I've got an nothing seems to be missing so I'm sure it's not alcohol (plus, he doesn't like the smell of it when he takes a whiff of whatever I'm drinking).  So, I'm ruling out alcohol, but I think Holy Rosary might have a drug problem.