Just trying to help a brother out

I'm considering a weekly post on helpful hints.  Stuff I've observed over the week that you may want to take advantage of, or to avoid altogether.  Wondering about a name for this new piece, something like "Helpful Hints" or "Just trying to help a brother out."

Anyway, the tip for this week:  Don't stop at the gas station on a Friday unless you've got a large tube of Vaseline.

I'm pretty ok with driving on fumes.  My wife likes to fill up when it dips below a half tank, but driving on 'E' doesn't bother me.  So as I've been driving home the last few days with the needle approaching empty, I continually thought "I'll just fill up tomorrow."

Today I had to stop and have blood drawn in preparation of my doctor playing with my balls next week.  He likes to have my lab work in his hands so he can yell at me when I'm there instead of calling and doing it over the phone.

Unfortunately, we've got a lot of road construction going on near where we live and there is no easy way to get to the doctor's office.  I knew one of the roads to the south of us was closed, but didn't realize the road to the north was closed as well.  It didn't seem that big a deal when I pulled out of the garage because the needle was just above the E.

Sadly, I drove all over the damned city trying to get to the doctor's office and when I finally arrived, the needle was below the E and I wasn't near a station.  Leaving the doctor's office was the first time I actually thought I might be pushing my big ass car because the engine cried "no mas."

Luckily, I had a tailwind and used the draft of the car in front of me to find the closest gas station.  Not so luckily, the price was some 20 cents higher than yesterday.

I left the gas place $62 lighter, with a throbbing in my backside and a funny walk, not to mention no pride and my butt cherry nowhere to be found.

Heed my advice because I'm just trying to help a brother out-->Do not need gas on Friday unless you're carrying some form of lube.  You'll regret it.