Operation Fat Bastard Update

For those following the on-going battle between my stomach and my belt, there was movement in both directions recently.  The Fall Festival of a few weeks ago didn't do my belt any favors as my stomach easily won their clashes over the week long junk food binge.  The scale never showed 190, though admittedly, it was close.

However, the festival has since ended and I began working toward marking off another item on my bucket list--running a mini marathon--by jogging.  Surely you remember last week's trial and tribulations, the near heart attacks, my inability to escape the gravitational pull of the driveway, and the various tears spilled.  Late last week, I started to see progress.  It was mostly baby steps, but it was progress nonetheless.  By Friday, I was able to jog X miles (it's still too embarrassing to detail) and had my weight down to 184.4.

For anyone that doesn't know me or hasn't paid attention to my Facebook posts in the past, I typically don't have much problem losing weight.  My problem has always been that I don't typically have a problem gaining weight either.  I enjoy beer and the bags of potato chips and bowls of popcorn that go with beer.

Well, the weekends are always my downfall, and this was a weekend in which my belt never stood a chance.    Because I'm getting old, I really have no idea what I ate on Friday night.  If I remember right, and I probably don't, my wife (Jennifer) and little boy (Hayden) were out doing something, got home late and we just threw something together.  However, on Saturday night, I was trying to get rid of some boneless chicken breasts, so I cut them into little nugget looking things and fried them, attempting to make something resembling a KFC Bowl-->a bowl full of mashed taters, fried chicken-nugget looking things, topped with sweet corn, then smothered in gravy.  My dessert followed a few hours later with a bomber of beer and a bowl of popcorn.  I was watching stuff I'd Tivoed so when the beer and popcorn was gone, I popped open another bottle of yummy goodness and took down half a bag of baked Lay's potato chips.  Yeah, that's how I roll on the weekends.

I decided Saturday would be a day off from mini marathon training, so I let my legs rest (and by letting my legs rest, I mean I did NOTHING).

The problem stems from yesterday...football day.  From noon til about 11 PM, I watch the football games.  My original plan was to get in a jog before the games started.  Instead, I woke up and decided it would be another great day to make pumpkin soup (my second batch of the season).  While I was relaxing with my thoughts in 'my office,' I decided it would be a great day to have a nice dessert with my pumpkin soup, so I made another pan of what I call 'Epic Pie.'

So, no jogging for me yesterday.  After watching my beloved Patriots embarrass themselves, I had a bowl of pumpkin soup and chased it with a piece of pie.  I was stuffed at that point, but since I'm a warrior (and because another football game was on at night), I had another bomber of beer and a bowl of popcorn.  About an hour after that settled, I decided I'd try another piece of pie.

The scale cried 'uncle' this morning.  186.8 pounds.  Undeterred, I said to myself, "I've weighed more," and I proceeded to get dressed and put on my running shoes for another jog.

It didn't take long to notice the extra couple pounds.  I managed mostly the same route as on Friday, though I cut a corner and shaved a hundredth of a mile.  My pace was a bit too fast early on, so I scaled it back a bit, but a lot of the damage had already been done.  Carrying around a couple extra pounds, running into the wind after a weekend of doing nothing, and my lungs cried 'no mas.'

I approached some construction guys working on the roads in the subdivision, they were ridiculously loud with all the machines and jackhammers and cranes and trucks.  Didn't matter, you could hear me wheezing and fighting for breath over all their commotion.  It was terribly embarrassing.

Just as I worked my way past their work site, I thought it was safe when I saw another worker walking towards me.  So I didn't endure further humiliation, I held my breath as I passed him so he didn't try to administer CPR.  That was such a mistake.  The only thing that saved me was my shoelace had worked itself undone and I had to stop and re-tie.  It was only a few seconds, but it allowed me to catch my breath.

Shoe lace secured, my trot through the neighborhood continued.  I turned a corner and headed back into the wind.  My additional girth didn't prove aerodynamic as I'd hoped and my pace slowed to a crawl...or at least a walk.  I'd lost, failing to run the same distance as Friday, breaking down and walking.

I'm very competitive, even when matched against myself.  If I perform at some level today, I want to exceed it tomorrow.  Dejectedly, I turned around another corner and headed for home, back at a slow jog.  By now, even on a cool day, I was sweating up a storm.  I took a look at my phone and searched for the results when I got in the house.

Despite my dejected feeling, there was something positive.  As mentioned, my total distance was down 0.01 miles.  However, my average speed for the trip was up from 6.67 MPH on Friday to 6.88 this morning, and that's despite a quick break to tie my shoe as well as almost a minute of walking.

I went upstairs and peeled off my clothes, literally (yeah, sweat doesn't do justice to what I was doing).  I cleaned up, got out of the shower and was still sweating.  I don't know what being in shock feels like, but I'm pretty sure I experienced it earlier today.  It's now a few hours later and I'm still coughing here and there as my lungs are recuperating.  I've decided, mostly because as I mentioned earlier that I'm a warrior, that I'm going to run again when I get home.  Hopefully my body can take the shock again so soon.  If not, I'm sorry you guys won't get to read more.